


Difficult Words

by kimilers



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: But it's mostly Benjamin, Gen, I will still scream very loudly in joy, If they give it to me down the line, Like Aoidos is mentioned, So question whats the verdict on tagging Benjamin and Aoidos, Sometimes you just wanna see stuff the game didn't give you, so I went with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimilers/pseuds/kimilers
Summary: James is doing overnight work when Aoidos comes to visit.
Kudos: 50





	Difficult Words

It was one of those late nights again. James had been at his desk for a few hours looking at a stack of papers that he could almost swear was as tall as he was, although as a harvin that wasn’t very hard to do.

“I’m thrilled he found himself.” James started, “But he could have told me his plan as his manager beforehand. Everything just has to be updated…” he let out a sigh and looked at pulled off a paper from the stack. “There’s also new fans to consider with our current standing contracts too…”

Was it a lot of work? Absolutely, no doubt about it. However, James was no stranger to it by this point. Aoidos wasn’t exactly “easy” to manage, but then again no greatness ever was, was it?

“Well, enough resting, back to work.” James said as he rolled his sleeves up and pulled a few papers off from the stack.

Around that time, Aoidos walked into the room. James figured Aoidos would have been sleeping at this hour, so seeing him walk in casually was a little shocking.

“Oh, are you having a hard time sleeping, Aoidos?” James said. “Well, your schedule is open tomorrow so one late night shouldn’t hurt you too much, but do try to get some rest.”

Aoidos stared at James for a bit before walking over to the sofa and plopping on rather recklessly.

“Uhh… is something bothering you?” James put all of his paper down. “I can make you some tea if you’d lik--”

“...That guy’s still sleeping.” Aoidos muttered quickly. Had James not given him his undivided attention, he probably would have missed it.

It was unusual for Aoidos to be talking lowly like that, however it was not entirely the case for…

“Ah! B-benji?” James sat straight. That was NOT a visitor he was expecting. He recalled Aoidos had explained that he could still “feel” Benjamin inside of himself, even if Aoidos was the one talking. James had merely figured Benjamin would simply stay in the background except for concerts.

“Yeah…” He muttered out before staring at James a bit. 

Although it had been some years, James was still all too familiar with Benjamin’s behavior. True, he had a much more reckless air to him now and James could probably end up dead if he tried to hit him now but…

Benji was still the same old Benji.

This said, Benjamin confronting someone was new, although James merely chalked that up to “he probably wants something”. But that brought its own challenges. Benjamin still didn’t seem like he wanted to talk much.

“He’s probably stressed.” James thought to himself. He leaped from his seat and walked up to the sofa and stood at the end.

“I doubt you’re here because you’re hungry, but would you like a tea or something to eat?” James tried as an ice breaker.

Benjamin shifted his eyes over to James and shook his head a bit.

“Hmm…” James thought for a bit. Benjamin was clearly trying to think still, but it wasn’t coming out. “Oh. Hold on, I think I have just the thing.” James turned around and walked off for a moment before coming back with a rather large guitar case.

“It’s not the one you’d usually use. This one is acoustic, since an electric one would no doubt wake everybody up.”

He handed it over to Benjamin who strummed it a few times, adjusted some of the pegs and strummed it some more. This process continued for a bit until he finally found a sound that made him take a deep breath.

“Feeling better?”

Benjamin nodded. “A little.” he sighed.

It was probably the first time James had ever gotten to see Benjamin ever rest his shoulders like that.

“So…” James said, “Is there something wrong? I’m all ears.”

Benjamin flicked his guitar a few times slowly before looking at James, “Yeah… Why the hell are you even here?”

James thought that was a strange first question. “Well, since yo-- Uh… Aoidos… merged the two bands together, everything needs to be updated and I’m--”

“No.” Benjamin abruptly spoke. “That’s not what I mean at all…” 

He was finally speaking, but even his voice felt a bit ‘strained’ to James. The hardest part now was trying to figure out if Benjamin was forcing himself to talk… or if he was perhaps holding back certain things he’d want to say.

“Ah…” James said, “Are you perhaps trying to ask ‘Why am I here as your manager’?”

Benjamin nodded and began speaking. His voice was pretty monotone and he spoke very rapidly as if he were just trying to finish the sentence before he lost it. “There was absolutely nothing telling you to do any of this. You chose to put yourself in a whole ass situation like this.”

James laughed at the language. He had never dreamed the day would come where he would have a conversation with BENJAMIN. Aoidos, talked plenty on his own, but as someone who knew Benjamin before, James could simply feel the difference between the two of them.

“Well, would you believe me if I told you I felt bad?”

Benjamin stared at James like they grew a second head. “Huh?”

“You see, it wasn’t hard for me to figure out why I was brought in years ago.” James laughed, “I guess a part of me always felt a little sad that I couldn’t help you out. That or maybe I felt bad for hitting you everyday for a while there.”

“If someone tried hitting me now they better make that shit fucking count.” Benjamin said, “Justin had the right idea.”

James had many thoughts fly into his head about that entire statement. Nothing could come out, but he did find himself laughing a bit. “I’ll keep that in mind then.”

“Not you.” Benjamin strummed his guitar a bit more. “Honestly, if you do it, you just caught me messing up. You’re the manager here.”

“Doesn’t mean I’d want to hit you though.” James said. “Although, given the fans we have added, maybe they’re into that? I’d have to do more resear--”

“You just keep your tiny ears closed on that.” Benjamin said clearly. It was probably the clearest thing he said all night. “Set the date, I’ll handle the show.”

“That’s a relief.” James said, “But do keep in mind there may be some people that may not be fond of certain… uh… scenes.”

“Tch…” Benjamin said, “Then I’ll just put a warning on it. If they go, it’s their own damn problem.”

James let out another laugh, “S-Sorry, I don’t mean to keep laughing like this. It’s just… well…” James began to explain the whole experience from going to Benjamin being mute, meeting Aoidos who absolutely NEVER shuts up and meeting Benjamin again who still has a hard time getting conversational words out having such colorful vocabulary. It was certainly an experience he never expected to have as a child, that’s for sure.

“...Does it bother you?” Benjamin asked quietly.

“Not at all. We’re adults here.” James said, “I’ve heard worse from angry clients anyway.”

Benjamin strummed his guitar again for a bit. It was clearly helping him relax and find a way to talk to James clearly, although he was obviously still thinking of what all he wanted to say.

He honestly had a ton of things he wanted to say. So much, that he didn’t know where to start on any of it, so he just chose to freeze up and not say anything at all. When he was a child, maybe this trail of logic would have worked, but he was older now. Being older was hard because you began to realize there were times where if you wanted something to be heard, you had to speak up.

“Hey…” He spoke, “What happened to you after all that anyway?”

James looked at Benjamin, “Huh? You mean after you went missing?”

“Went missing my ass. That asshole of a sperm donor drugged me with something and by the time I came to I was miles away from home.” he said, “Probably hoped I would have kicked the bucket but too bad for him.”

“Well… I can’t say anything about that, but at the least, I’m glad you’re alive. Although, the issue of your memories was a different case.” James said, “But yes, that morning, I woke up and you were gone. They were throwing out your belongings and threw me a bag and told me I had to pack up and leave because I was no longer welcomed at their home.”

“Fuckers.” Benjamin muttered under his breath.

“Perhaps.” James silently agreed. “But either way, I left town and went somewhere else. Harvins are known to be rather brilliant at a young age, so I picked up some part time work and lived my life jumping from odd job to odd job until….”

“Me.” Benjamin said.

“Correct.” James said, “Although, you clearly didn’t recognize me. But, you were speaking finally, so I had figured maybe you’d found a way to get better. That’s why I tried to protect yo-- Aoidos from those memories for so long. I don’t reject you or anything, I just didn’t want to see you go back to the way I remembered.”

Benjamin had sat in silence plenty. He was all too used to it, but this time that silence felt heavy on him. Heavier than usual. There was something he wanted to say to this. Something he wanted James to hear. 

Something he felt James deserved to hear, but he wasn’t asking for anything.

He picked up the guitar and began to play a short melody to calm himself down and think. What to think about? He wasn’t sure. He already knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find it in him.

“Your music…” James started, “It’s very different from what I’m used to hearing. It’s not bad though.”

Damn it… He played a whole damn song to think but it still wasn’t hitting him. “Ahhh….” he hissed out.

“Don’t worry.” James clearly picked up on Benjamin’s stress. “Take your time. I can clear my work out entirely tomorrow. I’m in no rush.”

Benjamin slammed his fist on the sofa handle and let out a long sigh. “Jim…” He said out slowly, “I”m…” he sighed out again, “You… here...No sense… but…”

He was trying. He really was. Before, he’d only have to speak with Justin and Valentin and it’d only be about their music. Those two did little caring for “normal” conversations. James was different from them. Benjamin had no idea HOW he was going to say it. Sure, he could probably take a bit more time to make lyrics for it, but it felt like this was something that needed to be said NOW.

James perked up, “Oh…” He said, “Are you trying to thank me?” 

Benjamin stopped and shook his head. Thanking? No. That didn’t feel QUITE right. He was looking for something else. Something different. “It’s more like…”

James sat in silence with Benjamin for a bit before his ears twitched again at the thought “Oh… by any chance, are you trying to apologi--”

Benjamin held his hand up. That was exactly it. He was trying to, but he couldn’t figure out the way to phrase it. But if anything, he wanted to be the one to say it.

“You…” he let out a sigh again, “I don’t get you. I really fuckin don’t. You show up at that place as some fuckin tool, beat the shit out of me, get kicked to the curb, live your life as some child slave I don’t know, see my face again and your first thought was seriously ‘Hey let me help this guy out’ again like a dumbass.” he rambled, “But I guess it worked out this time, so maybe I’m the stupid one here. But… you didn’t need to do all of that.”

He stopped. It was entirely a weird feeling to him. Those he was comfortable speaking to could relate to him and his feelings of being isolated by normalcy. He wasn’t sure if James could relate to that and he still wasn’t sure he could find honest words to get the right point out. Maybe this was all for nothing. Maybe there really wasn’t a point to any of this.

“I didn’t.” James said, “But I’d do it all over again if you were wondering.”

“Why?” Benjamin asked. “Why go through all this hell for someone like me?”

“Mmmm…” James thought for a moment, “Because you’re worth going through it all for?” he started, “We aren’t exactly of blood, but I do still think of you as my brother despite attempting to keep our relationship strictly business. Besides, I don’t think you’re as wild as some may consider you to be. That ballad that was sung at the festival… that was a song that both you and Aoidos thought of, right?”

Benjamin laughed, “There’s something wrong with you.”

“Maybe. But I wonder who contributed to that.” James said laughing. “But at least now, doing things like this helped out. You’ve got your memories back, so I don’t think I have to hide much from you anymore.”

“Yeah…” Benjamin said, “I guess there’s that.”

“I’m still adjusting to how you and Aoidos are going to work with each other.” James said, “But I want you to know that I support both of you, even if your shows are a little new to me.”

“You should come see one someday.” Benjamin spoke a bit louder. 

“I’ll consider a show when I have time. But making sure you can have the show comes first.”

The two of them sat there in silence and just enjoyed the company of the other for a good spell before James looked at Benjamin, “Are you sure you should be up like this though? Not trying to tell you what to do, but Aoidos is going to be rather exhausted tomorrow.”

Benjamin grumbled. “That guy is exhausting to begin with. I have no idea how he keeps it up all day.”

James nodded, “Yes, he is a handful. I feel like you may know, you’re just not used to all of it yet.”

“Maybe…” Benjamin stood up and raised the guitar. “I’m taking this with me to my room.”

“Go right ahead.” James said, “Just be sure Aoidos brings it down in the morning so we can put it away.”

Benjamin looked at James and nodded just a little. “This is the part where I thank you.” he said.

James laughed at Benjamin’s attempt at cracking a joke. He was far from being able to talk to normal people like Aoidos did, but maybe he didn’t need to. Maybe he didn’t want to. He could take a little joy in the fact that Benjamin spoke with him for the first time though. He wasn’t sure if that would ever happen again, but for now… it was enough to motivate him to go through with all this work.

Changing things up is never easy, but it keeps things exciting. James’s entire life had been one change after the other, and clearly it had no intention of slowing down anytime soon, but for now… he felt like the changes brought from this point forward wouldn’t matter much. 

James had a whole weight lifted from his shoulders, just like that. Aoidos was still here, Benji was here, there was a whole balance between then and James didn’t have to fear Aoidos reverting back entirely. 

He looked at the stack of work on his desk and sighed, “I really would do this all over again if I had to.” He said as he crawled back to his seat and continued his work.


End file.
